they walked together, hand in hand. such a simple and common guesture, yet..
enjoying the feel of his strong hand firmly holding on to hers.. she felt so.. safe. with just this simple touch.. he seem to be telling her, i'll stand by you, i'll nv let you go, and i'll always be here for you all at the same time... yet as she felt those words... she could not help but feel confused... she felt so safe... so protected, yet.. so distant from him...
as he claps her hand within his own, he could not find the words to say... how to him, she was the most beautiful girl in the world. not just outward beauty, but everytime he looked within her, he could not help but to be amazed at her pure heart, her gentel soul... her love, so pure and so unconditional... how could he tell her... that she ment the world to him. cos how could he? how could she? what was he? a simple scum such as himself, wat could he do to deserve a princess like her?
he is such a durian she though to herself... so tough and thony on the outside.. yet so soft and delicious on the inside... few ppl have every look past his surface.. simply dismissing him as the usual bad-boy-who-is-doomed. least of all himself! he always seemed so self critical.. covering himself with layers of toughness.. afraid to get hurt.. covering his soul.. a rare unpolished gem.. tried as she might... no matter how much she pryed... there was only so far she could go... though she would willingly give her life for him... he refused to open up himself to let her in
how cold he? a simple scum.. show this princess who he really is? if she could really see him... she would prob never ever.. want to even look at him again! how could he show her... all this tough out look that he always wore,.... it's all just a facade.. the cover to the real him. how could he tell her, all this partying, roudyness, and marchoness... was just a cover to his insecurities.... how could he tell her... his drinking, his smoking, they were just his escapes... his moments away from reality.. when things were too tough.. even for him to handle.. he'll turn to these... just to get that moment of peace... not a lasting one... but a moment at least..
did he really think that his facade actually would fool her? did he really think that she could not see past his cover? she really wanted to help him... but din't know how.. she could feel his pain everything he hurt... though he might act all tough and macho... when ever he hurt.. if u looked carefully into his eyes... you would see the haunted look in them... one of a child experencing it's first thunder storm... oh how she would like to run over and catch him in her arms... to show him that she cared... that she would not want anything to happen to him... to wistper to him that everything would be all right... and just to hold him... their silence telling it all... but as she stood there.. just staring into his soft brown eyes.. she never felt so lost before...
he wished nothing for nothing more then for her to hug him... he was human too.. and he still bleeds if u cut him... at times... even the guy needs a shoulder to cry on.. but how could he tell her? he was the tarzan.. she was the jane? he was suppose to protect and look after her.. not she comforting him! but as he looked down into her pleading eyes... he saw something within those eyes... he has seen it before.. when was it... wait.. it can't be... it was the same look in her eyes that he saw his dog have.. not too long ago... as it fondly licked her new born baby... what could this posibly mean?
breaking their eye contact... though every fiber within her screamed in protest.. longing to stare into those eyes... forever... but she knew she could not... he would not let her.. no matter all she's done to try to bridge the gap.. he somehow always seem to be pulling away... was that wat he was trying to do? or was it an automatic defence mecanism... she could not tell...all she knew.. she's done all she could.. and if this was what he really wanted... there was nothing she could do... maybe... it was not her that he was destined to spend the rest of his days wif...
as their eyes parted... he shook his head violently for a second... dammit he though to himself... i've really got to take my mind off her! though she's like the most amazing girl in the world... i'm seriously holding her back... a girl like her.. has all the chance in the world! she really should not be spending her life wif the bum that he is... sadly..like a doomed man looking towards the noose he is to be hung upon... he turned his head to look at her for the final time... dreading each sllyble as it parted from his lips..
just as she was opening her mouth to speak.. she heard the words... the words that she had ment to say.. stolen right from her mouth.. they thundered upon her ears like cannon fire...she felt icy fingers begin to grip upon her heart as she heard the words.... 'Lets just be Friends' she heard him say... she felt her heart chill as her worst fears materialised... yes... no matter wat she has done.. no matter how hard she tried... she'll still never be good enough for him... unable to say anything... she chocked back a silent sob... as she nodded hear head in silent agreement...
at this moment.. both of them heard a sharp crack! looking up into the sky to search for signs of rain... they saw non... for how were they suppose to recognize the sound of two hearts breaking together?
